madamedeficit: (Default)
Right, I know, I'm a terrible LJer these days. I don't even know what's happening with you guys because I've not found time to read my friends page in weeks, so you'll need to give me some time to try and catch up, but if there's anything you particularly want me to read, send me a link or a message and I'll be sure to read it.

In case you haven't guessed, things have been incredibly busy and stressful, but I think the worst is over and things are getting better. I'll try to cut this short:

- Family stuff was incredibly stressful but now seems to have calmed down a bit. My sister and Mum have now started speaking to each other after a couple of weeks of living in the same house but never speaking. I'm taking this as a good sign. My Mum seems to be socialising with friends lots, which is good, because the more time she spends with friends, the less time she spends with her abusive partner/ex partner (I'm not really sure what the status of their relationship is).

- Uni is going very well. Managed to get my presentation done, although was a bit stuttery and nervous. This is the most stressful part of coursework for me, so everything will be better from this point onwards. I have a piece of work due on Friday 28th, which is the day I go to Whitby, then I have no more work due till December.

- Work is a lot more tolerable than it was. I think that because I'm generally less stressed, I'm not worrying so much about whether it's going okay or my colleagues are bitching about me or whatever. Anytime something stresses me out at work, I just tell myself 'Just keep swimming' and somehow I miraculously feel better. Thank you to Pixar for their help in this situation. :P I'm still awaiting my contract review, where I'm going to find out if I'm getting kept on past December. I'm pretty sure I'm safe but you know me - I always worry unnecessarily. The good news is that after Monday, I'm not due in work for almost two weeks, due to a combination of holidays and the way the rota's been done. This makes me a happy face.

- Bob and I are good, I think... I hope? We had a rough couple of weeks due to stress, but I think/hope things are better now. We're both really looking forward to our wee break in Whitby, which I think will do us both a lot of good.

Overall, I'm coping much better. I've been referred for CBT therapy at uni, and although I'm on a waiting list, I'm relieved that there are strategies being put in place to help and support me. I've got my Poison Ivy costume ready for Whitby but we still need to get Bob's planned (he's gonna be Two Face).

Once we get back from Whitby, it's only five days till I see my girl Tori at the Concert Hall. This will be the third time I've seen her live. Slightly nervous I'll bump into Exface because he was at her last gig with his girlfriend, so I might need to look extra amazing just in case. I don't know what I'm so worried about - I actually think my life looks pretty awesome from the outside. Besides, if I saw him, it wouldn't have the same effect it used to have on me. I can barely remember what it's like to have a conversation with him. To be honest, I'm not even sure what we used to talk about, because it's so long since I've actually spoken to him, and I have no clue why I liked him.

I think that's mostly everything. I'm sure I'll think of more things to say, but I have to go get ready for work... le sigh.

x L x
madamedeficit: (Default)
How my paranoia makes me think I come across to my boyfriend's parents:
Freaky-looking whore with a crappy sales assistant job who Bob cheated on his ex with/dumped his ex for.

How I probably come across to my boyfriend's parents:
Colourful, quirky and friendly girlfriend of Bob who is working very hard to fund a Masters degree.

LOL.

x L x
madamedeficit: (Romeo and Juliet)
Simply to save me having to explain this twenty odd times, and also because of my compulsion to 'make things official', I wanted to offer a brief explanation of our current relationship status.

Bob and I are basically trying something we're referring to as 'relaxed monogamy' or 'monogamy with room to maneuver'. We are, at least for the time-being and forseeable future, exclusively dating each other.

So you're monogamous?
No, not in the truest sense of the word. We are exclusively dating each other but open to the possibility of casual encounters, group sex and/or the situation changing at some point in the future. Should either of us decide we'd like to act on attraction to somebody else, we'll discuss it and see where things go from there.

So you're open?
No. It would be uncool for either of us to act on an attraction to somebody else without prior discussion and/or negotiations. If one or both of us wished to act on said attraction, we'd have to have a serious talk about what we both wanted and see if it matched up. That said, following discussion, acting on said attraction would not necessarily be a dealbreaker.

So I guess what I'm essentially asking you all to do is to respect the boundaries of our relationship by, in essence, following the conventions and rules of monogamy (Obviously I'm not going to punch you for harmless flirtation - I'm still ME after all, but if you could not have sex with my boyfriend right now, that'd be freakin' awesome. Did I actually just type that sentence? Moving on now...)

I know that some of you will understand this decision while some of you may struggle with it as it's not the choice you'd make, but I want you all to know that we're very happy with our current dynamic as it works very well in relation to where we are as a couple. We have, essentially, been in a monogamous relationship for quite a while but calling it something different.

I have no doubt that you will all support our decision, even if you think it's completely bananas. Oh, and my apologies for any broken hearts out there (not that we're big-headed or anything...)

x L x
madamedeficit: (Rapunzel short hair)
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October 2011

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