madamedeficit

I can't actually believe this. I found out a few nights ago that one of my favourite people in the whole world is moving to Glasgow on Thursday. My friend Lipi (who I knew from when I lived in Manchester) has been offered a place on a Masters programme in Glasgow and only found out about it last week. She emailed me in a panic asking for a sofa to crash on until she can get a flat sorted out. Fortunately, I unofficially live with Bob at the moment, so my bedroom is going unused and I've offered it to Lipi on a temporary basis, following my flatmate's approval. I am expecting them to get along fine but if there should be any issues, we can always shuffle her between flats until she finds a place of her own, and if the worst comes to the worst, Bob's sofa is mega comfortable.

This means I have three days to clear a Lipi-shaped hole in my bedroom, move out a bit more of my things and get the place into a vaguely habitable state (as it's mainly been used as a dumping ground for the last few months. I made an event page on Facebook called 'Help Lipi Make Friends in Glasgow', which horribly embarrassed her but I wasn't able to sleep last night for worrying that she'll be lonely when she gets here. I figure a pub venture is in order a few days after she arrives so that she can be introduced to some nice alternative people.

I'M SO EXCITED I MIGHT DIE.

x L x

Simply to save me having to explain this twenty odd times, and also because of my compulsion to 'make things official', I wanted to offer a brief explanation of our current relationship status.

Bob and I are basically trying something we're referring to as 'relaxed monogamy' or 'monogamy with room to maneuver'. We are, at least for the time-being and forseeable future, exclusively dating each other.

So you're monogamous?
No, not in the truest sense of the word. We are exclusively dating each other but open to the possibility of casual encounters, group sex and/or the situation changing at some point in the future. Should either of us decide we'd like to act on attraction to somebody else, we'll discuss it and see where things go from there.

So you're open?
No. It would be uncool for either of us to act on an attraction to somebody else without prior discussion and/or negotiations. If one or both of us wished to act on said attraction, we'd have to have a serious talk about what we both wanted and see if it matched up. That said, following discussion, acting on said attraction would not necessarily be a dealbreaker.

So I guess what I'm essentially asking you all to do is to respect the boundaries of our relationship by, in essence, following the conventions and rules of monogamy (Obviously I'm not going to punch you for harmless flirtation - I'm still ME after all, but if you could not have sex with my boyfriend right now, that'd be freakin' awesome. Did I actually just type that sentence? Moving on now...)

I know that some of you will understand this decision while some of you may struggle with it as it's not the choice you'd make, but I want you all to know that we're very happy with our current dynamic as it works very well in relation to where we are as a couple. We have, essentially, been in a monogamous relationship for quite a while but calling it something different.

I have no doubt that you will all support our decision, even if you think it's completely bananas. Oh, and my apologies for any broken hearts out there (not that we're big-headed or anything...)

x L x